Focus
by manifestreverie
Summary: SPOILERS! for Trespasser DLC. F!MageTrev meets with her advisers one final time before heading to the Darvaarad. Full of hand-exploding goodness and some angst. Cullen doesn't take it so well this time! F!MageTrevelyanxCullen, some mentions of Adoribull. Rated T for some suggested adult times. Posted early, but reposted because I'm new at this.


AN: Normally I'm all about Solavellan, but this scene bothered me soooo much when I played as Trev. Obviously your advisers didn't know what was going on with the anchor, but a romanced Cullen just takes the explosion in stride. _"Oh look, I'm getting left behind again to look pretty in an ivory tower while my lady love rushes off to face the big bad and her probable demise. Good thing I'm used to it."_ Srlsy Cully-Wully, wtf. It's the main reason I don't like to romance him; too used to having my LI out in the field, watching my six. So this is my way of working through that confusion. And because I still can't process my Solavellan feels.

First Fanfiction, so be kind. :)

Also, Bioware owns all. I just love them to bits.

* * *

 _Focus, Inquisitor._ _ **Focus**_ _._

"…one order from destroying every noble house in the known world." Cullen was watching her from the corner of his eye, concern evident on his face. Alaine Trevelyan Rutherford had quickly exchanged her burned and bloodied armor for that ghastly formal attire in hopes of hiding any physical distress. Apparently her hopes were in vain. Her husband knew she was hurt, but his censure could be avoided for a few moments if only the bloody anchor would stop burning long enough for her to _focus_.

 _ **FOCUS**_.

"…the Inquisition is responsible for that threat." Leliana's eyes narrowed on Alaine. So much for Divine Victoria losing her edge. The Inquisitor straightened her spine and returned her former spymaster's gaze, unflinching.

"I take it you have new information." Back and forth her advisors bantered, their attention drawn away once again. She tried to listen, she really did, but fire and lightning shot from the anchor to her elbow and back again in alternating currents. Something about the gaatlok… _focus_ …Orlesian servant… _focus_ …

"...barrels arrived…" Alaine felt a drop of sweat roll down the side of her face. "…Inquisition's supply manifest." _Wait, what?_

"How are we supposed to fight a war when we can't even trust our own people?" Cullen's question as directed at her, so she quickly turned her gaze to Leliana before he noticed her distress and inattention. _Keep talking, Inquisitor. Focus._

"Do you know who got the barrels onto the Inquisition manifest?" Of course Leliana would know or she would never have brought it up. Once Alaine heard the affirmation she took a moment to casually glance at her gloved left hand. No sparks, yet. Excellent, but she had to end this meeting quickly and get to the Darvaarad. She only hoped Cullen would forgive her.

"The Inquisition stopped Corypheus and saved the world…" _Pain…_ _ **focus**_ _…_ "We can't let an outside threat change who we are now." _Oh no, Josie, please don't…there isn't time to argue today._

"And for what?" The ambassador was near tears. Alaine wanted to comfort her, tell Josie that all would be well again if she could just get out of this stuffy office and back to the eluvian… but the pain was too much and she couldn't force her jaws to unclench. _Help_ …. But Cullen was chiming in as well now, not looking at her. Of course he wouldn't be looking at her now while he could argue about Orlesian politics. Josephine's voice had reached that flustered high pitch that was only brought out for really heinous acts, like if Sera were seen near her office or the caterer brought too few _petite_ _fours_. _I'll never eat another tiny cake_ , the Inquisitor thought as the green sparks began to shoot up her arm. A movement out of the corner of her eye alerted Alaine to Leliana's presence just before the dam broke.

When awareness struck, the Inquisitor was on the floor, left hand tucked tightly against her stomach while the right kept her steady. White robes of the Divine were sitting before her and Josephine was wringing her hands. Leliana helped the Inquisitor to her feet before taking a step back to give Alaine room to breathe. _Cullen_. Her eyes searched the immediate vicinity. Maybe he stormed out before… _No, there he is._ He was still behind the table, posture stiff and cold. _Oh sweetheart, I'm sorry_. At that moment it was like three years hadn't happened. Cullen was a former Templar and Commander of the Inquisition's forces while Alaine was nothing but a suspicious apostate with a strange mark. And he was staring her down for an explanation.

"So…it's been getting worse." Cullen's brow furrowed, but he didn't look surprised. Alain never could bluff. "I don't know why. I don't know how to stop it." She looked to the floor. "I don't know how much time I've got left." Josephine gave a muffled sob and Leliana reached out to take her hand. Alaine didn't think it was possible, but Cullen only became more stiff and foreboding after she harnessed the courage to meet his gaze. He started to speak, but she cut him off. "What I do know is that the Qunari need to be stopped. So I need to get to the Darvaarad. Now, while I can still fight." The Inquisitor turned to leave while Cullen was still fuming. He would be angry for a few more minutes at least and she needed to retrieve her armor and staff. Alaine would tell him goodbye then, after she was ready for battle. Both battles.

"Inquisitor." Cullen's voice shot out like one of Varric's arrows. Her hand was on the door handle, ready to pull. _Just keep going. No._ The commander's voice brokered no argument. Titles were only brought out for formal events, heated arguments, or particularly naughty special occasions. Somehow Alaine suspected she wouldn't enjoy this as much as the latter, so she squared her shoulders and stared into the gaping maw of the lion.

"Commander." He was right behind her. Maker, he was right there. How did he get behind her without her notice? Sometimes she forgot how quiet Cullen could be when he wasn't wearing a suit of metal. _Oh, wait, there it is._ His eyes were steel and his expression iron. Already the mark was beginning to tingle again. _The pulses are coming faster now…_ Cassandra had said that, after they first met. After Solas had stopped the mark from killing her. _Solas, my dear friend, where are you now? Did you suspect it would happen again?_ Cullen still hadn't spoken. "Commander?"

"You're in no condition to fight." Alaine began to protest, but Cullen held up a hand. "None of you are. You're hurt. Not just from the anchor, but from fighting the Qunari. Varric almost fell out of the mirror and Cassandra is favoring her right leg. Cole has disappeared. Bull went straight to Dorian without so much as a salacious comment to the red-headed guard." Cullen's voice cracked. "Your own hand is trying to kill you and there's a sizable bandage around your ribs. Don't look at me like that. You're my wife and I think I should know the general shape of your torso." His commander mask slipped a bit and Alaine gave him a guilty half-smile. Cullen frowned. "You haven't slept more than a few hours since we arrived at the Winter Palace **four days ago** and I haven't seen you eat anything since that biscuit at Dorian's farewell toast yesterday. You can't do this, not now. Inquisitor… Alaine… I need... You need more time to prepare. Go to this Darvaarad in the morning. That's just a few hours away." Alaine gave him an irritated snort. The skin of her left hand was too tight; she felt it pull against her twitching fingers.

"Commander, there is no time," she said to him before she turned her gaze to their captive audience. Josephine wiped away tears with a silk handkerchief. Leliana simply nodded and led the ambassador out of the room. Alaine met Cullen's eyes once more. They still hadn't cracked.

"Three hours. A hot meal."

"Obviously you don't understand the meaning of temporal constraints, Commander. The longer we argue about it is the less time I have to stop the Qunari from blowing up Thedas."

"Two hours, sandwiches, and a glass of wine."

"No. I have to get there while I can still somewhat control the anchor. It has to be now."

"One hour and I'll find some tiny cakes and that terrible stuff Bull is always carrying about." Alaine couldn't help but laugh and the tension dissolved in an instant. Cullen cradled her face between his palms and rested his forehead against hers. She closed her eyes and covered his hands with her own. "Sweetheart, please. I know you have to go, but rest and eat first. You won't be able to focus otherwise, and you'll make mistakes. Bull hates it when you send an ice storm near his path."

"Dorian usually watches Bull's side of the battlefield. Mostly for that reason, I suppose," she said under her breath. When Alaine opened her eyes the commander was watching her again, searching her face for a real answer. "One hour." An uncomfortable throb shuddered through the anchor. "I don't want to die." Cullen's eyes closed tightly. _He needs to be prepared. He needs a chance to say goodbye. Focus, Alaine_. "Not while…not while I'm still needed. And the world needs me to go to the Darvaarad."

"I'll go with you," Cullen spoke quickly. "Rylen can be caught up to speed while you rest. My armor is in our room. No, don't say it." Alaine bit her tongue to avoid reminding him of the awful truth. The Winter Palace was chaos and guards on both sides were spoiling for a fight. Inquisition soldiers knew their duties, but once tempers flared there would be little anyone but Cullen could do to quell the tide. If he followed Alaine, they might come back and find another war. "Please…just don't say it." He gently brought her hands to his face and kissed both her palms, lingering on the left. "Go rest," he whispered between her fingers. "I'll get you those cakes."

"Taking your eye off the prisoner before negotiations are concluded? What's to say she'll hold up her end of the bargain?" Alaine smirked and took three steps back, folding her hands behind her. _Spasms, jerking, too tight…_ _ **Focus**_ _, Alaine. He needs you too._

"Alaine…you promised me one hour," Cullen growled as he took two long strides and stretched to grab her shoulder. Too slow, because his wife anticipated this reaction and dodged to the right.

"And you shall have your hour," Alaine waved dismissively. "Find the cakes later, Commander." Cullen searched her face, questions pouring from his eyes. _Please, love. I need you._ Almost as if he heard her, Cullen nodded his assent.

"Inquisitor."

* * *

Almost to the minute, Cullen slipped out the door to their room an hour later and quietly closed it behind him. He backed away slowly, ears strained to hear any sound of his wife stirring. Cullen was so focused on listening for movement inside the room that he completely missed the Tevinter mage leaning against the wall.

"I heard you got her to agree to a whole hour of rest." Cullen jumped like a child caught in a jar of sweets. "Tell me, did the countdown begin the moment our beautiful Inquisitor was on the bed… or once you got out?" Dorian smiled at his friend's blush. For over two years Alaine and Cullen had been flaunting their adoring devotion to anyone with most of their senses intact, but the commander still flushed like a Chantry sister every time Dorian called them out on the physical side of their relationship. "I simply can't imagine there was much rest involved while you were both near a horizontal surface." It was deplorably gallant of him, really, the purplish hue creeping down his neck.

"I…I don't know. I'm hoping she'll stay asleep long enough for me to find some tiny lemon cakes and a bottle of decent wine," Cullen let out with a small, huffing laugh. He had a mission. He had to _focus_ , but wait. "How did you know about the hour? We were alone in the room."

"I didn't, until just now. Divine Victoria mentioned to Cassandra that you were having a brief discussion with the Inquisitor about the party's state of readiness. This began a whole string of debates about individual welfare and who was fit enough to run through the ancient elven mirrors and defend our illustrious leader against a horde of rampaging Qunari. Apparently Varric took one of those giant hammers to the side of the head and Cassandra leapt to his rescue…and took the same hammer to the hip. Thankfully her armor and his skull are of similar durability and they're both mending quickly after the healers saw to them. Bull was stupid enough to step right into the path of a spear; went cleanly through his shoulder though. Didn't damage anything irreplaceable except my velveteen half-cape and silk trousers. Disgusting brute." Cullen took in his friend's appearance and heard all the words Dorian hadn't said.

"You're going this time?"

"Quick on the uptake as usual, my good man," the mage said with a smile. Then it faltered. "Uncontrollable bursts of inexplicable power? Nasty business, those. Obviously none of the others can be dissuaded from tagging along on this suicide mission, so Blackwall and I have decided to provide a little extra muscle and a lot more finesse." Cullen tried to laugh, but it left his lungs as a wretched sigh as he leaned against the wall. Dorian's brows drew together. "Alaine will make it back, you know that. Yes?" The commander shook his head, words escaping. He couldn't focus on anything now, vision blurring as his heart tried not to break. "No? I find your lack of faith disturbing, Commander. We'll keep her safe, to the best of our abilities. Alaine Rutherford will return to you." Cullen noted that Dorian did not promise how his wife would return; only that she would. _At least that's something. Right, focus. Cake.  
_

"Thank you again, by the way," Cullen started, pushing himself away from the wall and walking down the hall. Dorian followed, brow raised in silent question. "For giving me Bull's report on Alaine's mark. She really wasn't going to tell me. It was irritating her before we even crossed the Orlesian border, but I thought it was just... I don't know? Stress? Bad memories?" He stopped near a flight of stairs, trying to decide which direction would be best to find tiny lemon cakes when Dorian pointed down the stairs and to the left. _Aah, he would know._ "Josephine and I were arguing about… I don't even remember… when Alaine screamed like something was ripping her apart. I froze. You had warned me, but it was terrifying. Once she lifted her head, I was furious. Being angry at her for keeping things from me was easier than… this." They stopped. Cullen looked around and realized that Dorian had led him to an empty room. "I thought you knew where we were going? Are we lost now?"

"And here I thought you were quick on the uptake. I rescind all earlier praise of your mental capabilities," Dorian snorted as he waved a hand to the right. Candles flared to life and showed off various covered dishes left out from the day's festivities. "You'll find the petite four to the right, in the blue dish. Bull and I discovered this room earlier while he was looking for those spicy nuts and I was trying to staunch the flow of his life's blood. He does have his priorities." Cullen noticed that, while his friend protested, Dorian picked up the entire bowl of spiced nuts and poured them into a pouch at his waist. _Right, cake_. _Focus, Rutherford._

"Wait a minute; you said Alaine Rutherford. How did you know that we got married? It was just us and Mother Giselle."

"And that slobbering mabari," Dorian smirked. Cullen blinked in surprise. "I didn't actually know until earlier when you failed to correct me." Before he could protest, Dorian continued. "You see, two days ago I overheard Varric taunting Cassandra about a proposal. Naturally I assumed they were finally going to come out with it and give us all a break from their sexual tension. However, a few hours later I noticed Alaine and Cassandra whispering together. As I was leaving Cassandra yells out 'Why do I ever listen to anything that dwarf says?!' Oh, the look on her face," Dorian happily sighed. Cullen actually could picture it all, but something still didn't add up.

"Ok, but how did you know about the mabari?" Dorian laughed.

"Mother Giselle's gossip is so much more interesting when it isn't about me."


End file.
